Combine 3 Ukrainians packing 2 bottles of vodka, a Chinese man whose internet, travel booking skills are suspect, an Englishman with a penchant for disrobing and me; and what do you get? One wild ride to the frozen North. So, the decision is made that we must go to Harbin for the Winter Snow and Ice Festival, because it's supposed to be amazing. Reasonably, train tickets are booked a couple weeks in advance for the 32 hour journey north which will depart on Chinese New Year (January 22, 2012). Sounds pretty standard, right? What could possibly go wrong, you say? Remember what I said about the Chinese man? Let's get us some tickets!
China's railway system has a fairly new and convenient way to purchase train tickets on something called the worldwide web or some such Jules Vernian tomfoolery. Not being a Star Trek fan myself, I don't completely understand you crazy kids and all your futuristic gadgets like color televisions and the interweb. My Chinese friend, Jason (not his given name), however; decided that it would be easiest to purchase the train tickets on said railway website. This selfless act required Jason to transcribe passport numbers and names and whathaveyou onto the website, thereby allowing everyone to pick up their tickets from the internet booking window on the day that we are set to leave Shanghai. (Interesting sidenote: I purchased my ticket in person 2 days in advance of the trip, because I was a bit of a late tag-on to the group due to questions in my other travel plans.) At any rate the fated travel day eventually arrives.
It's Chinese New Year!!! There's eating and drinking! There's revelry! There's gay laughter! There's straight laughter! There's confused and slightly curious laughter! There's dinner with Jason's family, and food that hasn't been cooked in a vat in the cafeteria of a middle school! It's a holiday like none other with more firework consumption and usage than the entirety of the fireworks displayed in all of the cities in the entirety of the United States and her respective territories during all of the holidays of the entire year combined!!! (No, I have not backed this up with scientific evidence or proof, but just trust me.)Finally, there's 5 train tickets to Harbin with our names on them (well, ID numbers)!... sort of.
Okay, my ticket has my id number on it, Nick's has his, Alina's has hers, Jason's has his and Sasha's has...well...it has a number on it. The Chinese railway worker verifying the tickets is perplexed by something. It seems that the id on Sasha's ticket is off by ONE digit! Well, that couldn't possibly be Sasha then. That ticket must belong to some other tallish, muscular, Ukrainian teacher/model/former gymnast/current sadist with a surprisingly similar ID number. Apparently, Jason became a little distracted while typing in the numbers. How will we solve this problem?! What is our intrepid band of travelers to do?! Tune in next week...j/k. The obvious solution is...Sasha buys a brand new ticket. Sasha is very happy now. Sasha does not want to play one of the myriad Ukrainian death games with Jason that I've heard so much about. Well, with a few longer-than-comfortable death stares from Sasha the new ticket is purchased, and the trip is proceeding. Things definitely got a bit tense back there, but, Hey! We're all loading on the train with barely a minute to spare. We have nice, semi-comfy, slightly-smallish beds; 2 bottles of vodka and a brand new Ukrainian friend. What are the odds?
Well, let's back up a bit. We all load onto the train with very little time to spare due to the unforeseen delay with Sasha's ticket. Sasha, Alina, Jason and Nick all have tickets in the same group of sleeper beds, but my ticket is several train cars away, as I bought my ticket separate from the group and quite a bit later. We are an industrious group, however; and Sasha looks like he could conquer Mt. Midoriyama in record time, so we convince a nice Chinese man to trade tickets with us so that I can spend the trip with my friends. Sasha and Alina also happen upon a nice, Ukrainian girl on the train so we convince someone else to trade with her, as well. Now, the fun begins...
Friday, October 17, 2014
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Boys and Girls
So, for those of you who may not be aware, I teach Chinese children how to prepare for a complex, international marketplace in which an understanding of English is fundamental to growing your business in an ever-changing global economy. HAHAHAHA!!! What I really do is teach Chinese students in 8th grade, 7th grade and kindergarten oral English, which means we mainly play a lot of games to try to get them over their shyness. Please, take some time to shower me with pity for the arduous life that I lead.
Now, before coming to China I never taught children in a grade lower than 9th, and few of those at that. So, if this post suffers from a basic ignorance of universal middle school and junior high behavior, please feel free to offer any corrections needed. At any rate, as the title of this post indicates, this is about boys and girls. I may not know that much about girls, apart from what I learned on Kindergarten Cop, but after thirty-three years I've learned to comfortably communicate with the female species. I know that I was quite shy when I was around 13 or 14 years old, but even then I don't remember a feeling of abject terror when confronted with the possibility of having a conversation with a girl. I tell you this because the reaction of a 7th or 8th grade Chinese student in the face of the challenge of speaking to a student of the same age of the opposite sex is downright priceless!
It is a very common occurrence for me to begin a class by having my students ask each other random questions out loud in English. Typically, the first time that I introduce this activity I will start with the student in the front desk on one side of the room, and have that student question the student behind them, snaking our way through the entire class. At times I like to subtly change the format by limiting the types of questions, adding to the number of questions or having the students choose randomly the student in the class that they would like to question. And now the fun begins!
Given the choice a male student will select another male student and a female student will choose another female student to question 99% of the time. By the way, 60% of the time my randomly generated statistics are correct 100% of the time. While I find this phenomena among my students interesting to observe, I also find that it gets a bit monotonous at times and doesn't foster the idea of a completely cooperative learning environment. I am also a bit of a sadist as a teacher. So, I consider it fun to allow this heterogeneous line of questioning to continue through around 6 or 7 similarly-sexed students and then throw a wrench into the works. I then announce that boy students must now question girl students and vice-versa. (spell check tells me I made a mistake on vice-versa. I think spell check is wrong, but if someone knows differently please let me know.)
Now, my announcement of the changing of the rules is usually met by clapping, cheering, screaming, peals of laughter and a chorus of "ohhh's." Well, at least those are the reactions from the other students that are not the boy or girl that I just stopped to inform that they must now pick someone of the opposite sex. The amazingly sad look of defeat and forlorn bewilderment akin to a child who has been told that they can't have the puppy that they just fell in love with is priceless. Remember, I'm a little sadistic as a teacher. What's even greater is that often the line of questioning can turn into, "What boy do you like?", "What girl do you like?", "Do you like me?", "Who is the most beautiful/handsome student in the class?". You should understand that if put to the test of admitting to "liking" another student a Chinese child would rather die than admit to it, even if the aforementioned other student is in the same room. Therefore, a student will choose to say, "No, I don't like him/her." in the face of the questioning. Add to the situation the fact that nearly every new choice of girl or boy to question is met with the same reactions as my game-changing announcement, it's just about the most fun that you can have teaching in China.
So, there you go. Boy/Girl interactions in China. See you next time. Rangers rule, by the way!
Now, before coming to China I never taught children in a grade lower than 9th, and few of those at that. So, if this post suffers from a basic ignorance of universal middle school and junior high behavior, please feel free to offer any corrections needed. At any rate, as the title of this post indicates, this is about boys and girls. I may not know that much about girls, apart from what I learned on Kindergarten Cop, but after thirty-three years I've learned to comfortably communicate with the female species. I know that I was quite shy when I was around 13 or 14 years old, but even then I don't remember a feeling of abject terror when confronted with the possibility of having a conversation with a girl. I tell you this because the reaction of a 7th or 8th grade Chinese student in the face of the challenge of speaking to a student of the same age of the opposite sex is downright priceless!
It is a very common occurrence for me to begin a class by having my students ask each other random questions out loud in English. Typically, the first time that I introduce this activity I will start with the student in the front desk on one side of the room, and have that student question the student behind them, snaking our way through the entire class. At times I like to subtly change the format by limiting the types of questions, adding to the number of questions or having the students choose randomly the student in the class that they would like to question. And now the fun begins!
Given the choice a male student will select another male student and a female student will choose another female student to question 99% of the time. By the way, 60% of the time my randomly generated statistics are correct 100% of the time. While I find this phenomena among my students interesting to observe, I also find that it gets a bit monotonous at times and doesn't foster the idea of a completely cooperative learning environment. I am also a bit of a sadist as a teacher. So, I consider it fun to allow this heterogeneous line of questioning to continue through around 6 or 7 similarly-sexed students and then throw a wrench into the works. I then announce that boy students must now question girl students and vice-versa. (spell check tells me I made a mistake on vice-versa. I think spell check is wrong, but if someone knows differently please let me know.)
Now, my announcement of the changing of the rules is usually met by clapping, cheering, screaming, peals of laughter and a chorus of "ohhh's." Well, at least those are the reactions from the other students that are not the boy or girl that I just stopped to inform that they must now pick someone of the opposite sex. The amazingly sad look of defeat and forlorn bewilderment akin to a child who has been told that they can't have the puppy that they just fell in love with is priceless. Remember, I'm a little sadistic as a teacher. What's even greater is that often the line of questioning can turn into, "What boy do you like?", "What girl do you like?", "Do you like me?", "Who is the most beautiful/handsome student in the class?". You should understand that if put to the test of admitting to "liking" another student a Chinese child would rather die than admit to it, even if the aforementioned other student is in the same room. Therefore, a student will choose to say, "No, I don't like him/her." in the face of the questioning. Add to the situation the fact that nearly every new choice of girl or boy to question is met with the same reactions as my game-changing announcement, it's just about the most fun that you can have teaching in China.
So, there you go. Boy/Girl interactions in China. See you next time. Rangers rule, by the way!
Monday, September 19, 2011
I want to start out this post by saying that after a lot of soul-searching I have decided that I appreciate Harry Potter movies, but I can completely do without Twilight. That being said, there are some foods here in China that I appreciate, and there are others whose odor could down a charging rhinoceros at 100 meters out. Please bear in mind that I said "foods here in China" and not Chinese food, so when I tell you that my favorite place to eat here is a Korean restaurant there won't be any confusion.
On the subject of foods let me tell you that I currently live in the dormitory of a boarding school; thus, I eat primarily in the school cafeteria (note: everyone here, including foreigners of China, seem to call a cafeteria a canteen, but canteen makes me think of Desperado or that thing you fill up when you're out doing survival training.). Now, one thing I have discovered during my time here is that eating in a cafeteria in China is very similar to just about every experience that I have had eating in a cafeteria in the States. By that I mean that most cafeteria food sucks, and that seems to be an international rule. Peace has got to start somewhere right? Maybe we can build off of that. Now there are a couple exceptions to the cafeteria food rule in most cafeterias, and that remains true here. I find myself overjoyed when I step into the cafeteria and realize that they are serving either: a)fried chicken (yes, I'm from the South) or b)stewed tomato and egg. Both of these dishes are done quite well here, and they are often signs of a good day.
Apart from the obvious presence of McDonald's (which doesn't exist in my city), the two major western food chains in China happen to be Pizza Hut and KFC. I'm not particularly fond of KFC (try the shrimp cake sandwich sometime), but Pizza Hut operates significantly differently here than back home and I'm a fan. You see, Tuesday nights are half-price movie nights here, and my friend, Nick, and I have spent many of them gorging on stuffed crust pizza and assorted appetizers followed up by whatever western movie appeals to us the most or turns us off the least that week.
Despite my appreciation for pizza about once a week, my favorite restaurant in Haining, China is a Korean restaurant around the corner from a dance club in which I've embarrassed myself on multiple occasions. They cook various dishes right at your table (generally we just go for pieces of pork and beef that are then wrapped in lettuce or eaten over rice), but they also have something called guo bao ruo, which means deep fried pork. The guo bao ruo is served as hot as the sun and has a honey type glaze, and I might cause physical harm to someone to get to it.
Finally, if you don't like snacks then you might not be Chinese. There are myriad shops, stalls and carts at which you can purchase an amazing variety of snacks. If I'm ever walking downtown and I get a craving for duck heads or necks, that's not a problem. Do you want random grilled meats on a stick? We've got it. Oh! You say that you prefer chicken feet? I can take care of you, but far and away my favorite snack is choutofu, which is literally translated as "smelly tofu." It's name is exactly what it is, and it lives up to the hype. I can honestly tell you from a block out if there is any of this "delicious" snack in the area. Choutofu is tofu that has been cooked, left to sit out for a day and cooked again to be eaten. At least, that's what I've been told, and it truly haunts me in my waking hours.
Well, that's all for now. I'm not really sure how this is going, but it's going all the same. As always, fire away with any criticisms, because I really don't know what I'm doing.
Peace
On the subject of foods let me tell you that I currently live in the dormitory of a boarding school; thus, I eat primarily in the school cafeteria (note: everyone here, including foreigners of China, seem to call a cafeteria a canteen, but canteen makes me think of Desperado or that thing you fill up when you're out doing survival training.). Now, one thing I have discovered during my time here is that eating in a cafeteria in China is very similar to just about every experience that I have had eating in a cafeteria in the States. By that I mean that most cafeteria food sucks, and that seems to be an international rule. Peace has got to start somewhere right? Maybe we can build off of that. Now there are a couple exceptions to the cafeteria food rule in most cafeterias, and that remains true here. I find myself overjoyed when I step into the cafeteria and realize that they are serving either: a)fried chicken (yes, I'm from the South) or b)stewed tomato and egg. Both of these dishes are done quite well here, and they are often signs of a good day.
Apart from the obvious presence of McDonald's (which doesn't exist in my city), the two major western food chains in China happen to be Pizza Hut and KFC. I'm not particularly fond of KFC (try the shrimp cake sandwich sometime), but Pizza Hut operates significantly differently here than back home and I'm a fan. You see, Tuesday nights are half-price movie nights here, and my friend, Nick, and I have spent many of them gorging on stuffed crust pizza and assorted appetizers followed up by whatever western movie appeals to us the most or turns us off the least that week.
Despite my appreciation for pizza about once a week, my favorite restaurant in Haining, China is a Korean restaurant around the corner from a dance club in which I've embarrassed myself on multiple occasions. They cook various dishes right at your table (generally we just go for pieces of pork and beef that are then wrapped in lettuce or eaten over rice), but they also have something called guo bao ruo, which means deep fried pork. The guo bao ruo is served as hot as the sun and has a honey type glaze, and I might cause physical harm to someone to get to it.
Finally, if you don't like snacks then you might not be Chinese. There are myriad shops, stalls and carts at which you can purchase an amazing variety of snacks. If I'm ever walking downtown and I get a craving for duck heads or necks, that's not a problem. Do you want random grilled meats on a stick? We've got it. Oh! You say that you prefer chicken feet? I can take care of you, but far and away my favorite snack is choutofu, which is literally translated as "smelly tofu." It's name is exactly what it is, and it lives up to the hype. I can honestly tell you from a block out if there is any of this "delicious" snack in the area. Choutofu is tofu that has been cooked, left to sit out for a day and cooked again to be eaten. At least, that's what I've been told, and it truly haunts me in my waking hours.
Well, that's all for now. I'm not really sure how this is going, but it's going all the same. As always, fire away with any criticisms, because I really don't know what I'm doing.
Peace
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Firstly, let me say that this blog was inspired by a few people in my life who have tried to convince me that some of my experiences might in some way be interesting to others; furthermore, they should be written down in an easily accessible fashion.
Secondly, I will be operating under the assumption that a blog is a bunch of crap that is interesting to oneself, but not really to anyone else. Therefore, if I ramble...well, you chose to come here. (By the by, anyone who knows me personally should be well aware of the fact that I do indeed ramble.)
Well, the above being said, this is my first foray into the blogging world, and with any luck this first entry will be my weakest attempt. I already feel like I'm writing a diary and am significantly self-conscious about it. In case you haven't realized from the title of the blog, this will be generally about my time spent in China. Some entries may veer into other travels, but let's just see how this goes. Well, I'm already tired. How do people write novels?
Thus ends my initial trial entry. Feel free to comment if I can figure out a way to allow that to happen. Negative comments are greatly appreciated...as are constructive compliments. :)
The Chez
Secondly, I will be operating under the assumption that a blog is a bunch of crap that is interesting to oneself, but not really to anyone else. Therefore, if I ramble...well, you chose to come here. (By the by, anyone who knows me personally should be well aware of the fact that I do indeed ramble.)
Well, the above being said, this is my first foray into the blogging world, and with any luck this first entry will be my weakest attempt. I already feel like I'm writing a diary and am significantly self-conscious about it. In case you haven't realized from the title of the blog, this will be generally about my time spent in China. Some entries may veer into other travels, but let's just see how this goes. Well, I'm already tired. How do people write novels?
Thus ends my initial trial entry. Feel free to comment if I can figure out a way to allow that to happen. Negative comments are greatly appreciated...as are constructive compliments. :)
The Chez
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